Father’s Day is a very important day for Hard Rock Daddy because of what it represents – the everlasting bond between a father and his children. Without the influence of my dad, Hard Rock Daddy would not exist, at least in its current form. This day has always been bittersweet for me since becoming a dad because I tragically lost my dad less than a year before my first child was born. It’s been nearly 13 years since his passing, but I can still hear my dad’s words ringing in my ear, and often times, out of my mouth with my own children. Sharing stories about my dad with my children has given them a connection to him that goes much deeper than a memory of a man that they never got the chance to meet.
Last year, on the first Father’s Day after the launch of Hard Rock Daddy, I put out my Top 5 Hard Rock Songs For Father’s Day. It was a challenging list to compile because of the scarcity of songs in the genre that pay tribute to fathers. Out of all the songs on the list, one stood above the rest because it described my feelings almost perfectly. Black Stone Cherry’s “Things My Father Said” captures the emotions that are felt by a son who loses his dad at a relatively young age, but never got the chance to say goodbye.
Even though it was nearly 13 years ago, I still remember our last goodbye, but I didn’t know that it was going to be the last one at the time. We were celebrating the birth of the first grandchild in the family, and my dad was beaming with pride as he held that little bundle of joy in his arms. It is an iconic picture in our family to this day. Sadly, his grandfather days lasted only about a month or so before his untimely passing. That little baby in the picture turned 13 this Father’s Day weekend, a number that really makes you appreciate how much time has gone by and how quickly it seems to have happened.
Since that day, three other grandchildren have been born, including my two children. None of the kids ever got the chance to know the man who would have been affectionately known as “Poppy,” but they all love him just the same. His time on earth was short, but the impact that he made will last a lifetime.
My dad never really sat me or my siblings down to teach specific life lessons; he just shared his thoughts with us on a regular basis in an honest, and often times, hilarious way. Because he didn’t intend to share these lessons in a formal way, he may never have known the impact that they had on me. I don’t think that I realized them myself until I became a dad, and started sharing them with my children.
I can relate to so many of the lyrics in “Things My Father Said,” but a few of them still get to me whenever I hear the song…
“I hope my father knows the seeds that we’ve sewn still grow”
“One thing I will never forget is the day that I lost you”
Losing my father is something that I have never gotten over. The passage of time has eased the pain of his loss, but there is a void in my life that simply cannot be filled. I’ll never forget the day that I lost my dad, but more importantly, I’ll never forget all of the memories that we created and the lessons that he taught me that have helped me to become the dad that I am today to my kids. On this and every Father’s Day, I remember the “things my father said” and smile, even if it is with a heavy heart.
“Things My Father Said” lyrics (see video below)
The things my father said would make me a better man
Hard work and the love of friends, a woman that understands
I hope my father knows the seeds we’ve sewn still grow
At night I go to sleep and pray he is watching over me
Somewhere there’s a star that’s shining
So bright that I can see your smile
And all that I need is one last chance
Just to hear you, you say goodbye
Sometimes I remember when you taught me to tie my shoes
One thing I will never forget is the day that I lost you
I hope you always know the car that we built will always roll
Somewhere there’s a star that’s shining
So bright that I can see your smile
And all that I need is one last chance
Just to hear you say goodbye
And if you have a dream you better hang on for dear life
And when that cold wind blows, just let it pass you by
Yeah…things my father said
Yeah, yeah… yeah, yeah, yeah
Somewhere there’s a star that’s shining
So bright that I can see your smile
And all that I need is one last chance
Just to hear you, you say goodbye, goodbye
Just to hear you say….goodbye
One of my favorite BSC songs.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I was just looking this song up and found your blog. I can’t tell you how much your words mirrored my own feelings. I lost my dad very unexpectedly nearly 4 years ago. It has devastated me. I loved him so much and few months after Losing him I was pregnant with my little boy. My first and only. But i have felt such grief over the fact that my dad never got to see my little boy or know he exists. And that my little boy never got to meet my dad. I was so close to my dad. I loved his stories. He made me laugh. He was my world really. And it shattered me losing him. I’m still working through my grief and find it hard to let go. But I like what you said how I can share stories and memories of my dad with my little boy. And I will do that. My little boy has also been battling cancer which was another shock. But things are slowly getting better. He had his portacath out a few weeks ago and is hopefully on the road to better things. He is 3 on Saturday. I lost my dad in March. It still kills me. Thank you for your post. I can’t imagine 13 years going by without my dad. X
Wow! I’m so glad that this was able to help you in some way, and that your little boy is starting to get better and winning his battle. I really appreciate you sharing your story, especially this time of year as the days are fast approaching to yet another of my father’s birthdays that we cannot celebrate together.
Thank you. It’s coming up to day my dad died next month. And also my mum and dads anniversary. It is very strange. I am sorry about your dad. It has also helped to see that I don’t have to let go of my dad. Some people keep trying to tell me to not think of my dad and not to get upset infront of my son. But I don’t want to let go of him.